


Without You

by Inkkerfuffle



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I tried to fix it tho, I'm sorry I wrote a sad, Prompt Based
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkkerfuffle/pseuds/Inkkerfuffle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The apartment is far too quiet now, far too lonely and cold now that Adrien had moved out. It’d been one week since he had finally taken all his stuff and moved away, and it’d been six days since Marinette had finally gathered the courage to set foot back inside the home they once shared.  </p><p>It just wasn’t supposed to end like this.</p><p>In fact, it wasn’t supposed to end at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First Prompt:   
> “today was the first family gathering i’ve been to since we broke up and my little cousin that absolutely adored you asked where you were and i had to lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the tub for a half an hour and look through a folder on my phone of pictures i took of you to feel okay again"

It’s not babysitting. It’s mentoring. Or at least that’s what she tells herself.

Marinette is twenty years old, earning good money from all the commissions she takes, as well as some special orders on her internet store. She doesn’t need the money, but she takes the babysitting gig anyway. Because, in the end… she’s fond of Manon. Granted, the little girl had managed to drive her absolutely insane when Marinette was a teenager but that was not the case anymore.

Despite all of Nadja’s apologizes for dropping Manon on her routine again; Marinette simply smiles and tells her that it’s okay, reminding Nadja that she can count on her. She didn’t mind the interruption to her daily routine.

In fact, she’s desperate for the distraction.

The apartment is far too quiet now, far too lonely and cold now that Adrien had moved out. It’d been one week since he had finally taken all his stuff and moved away, and it’d been six days since Marinette had finally gathered the courage to set foot back inside the home they once shared. 

It just wasn’t supposed to end like this.

In fact, it wasn’t supposed to end at all.

But as Manon quickly runs inside, eager to see just what the young woman was working on, Marinette realizes something. The ten year old fills the apartment with such a intense energy that she finds herself forgetting her sorrows. She forgets that his scarf will no longer be hanging from the coat rack. She forgets that she will no longer have to watch out for his reading glasses before setting something on top of their table. She forgets that her completed sketchbooks are scattered on top of the kitchen table, because the bookshelf was his, and he had taken it along as he left, and she forgets that she no longer has to clear out the left side of the bed for him to sleep in.

And for now, she breathes.

She finds herself following Manon, leaning against the wall as the younger girl busies herself looking at Marinette latest designs.

“Heey!” Manon giggles as she twirls, placing a large hat on top of her head. “I can be a model too!”

Marinette laughs, the sound odd and new after these past few weeks, plucking the hat from Manon’s head and carefully placing it back on top of the work table. “Careful! It still has some pins on it,” she says, before placing a hand on Manon’s shoulder and lightly leading her back towards the living room and away from her works in progress. “Come on, let’s go watch a movie.”

It takes no time for Marinette to set up the movie and bring some snacks, and soon enough, they’re surrounded by large bowl of popcorn and some drinks. The movie is animated, and it has a wide eyed protagonist and a very dashing love interest.

“Is Adrien coming home today? Or is he modelling again?”

The wound is still far too fresh for Marinette not to react, but if Manon notices, she says nothing, her light brown eyes fully focused on the story on the screen.

It shouldn’t be a surprise, the young girl was absolutely enamoured with Adrien, and had been ever since she’d been dragged into that photo shoot all those years ago. Marinette was almost certain that part of the admiration Manon felt for her was due to the fact that Adrien loves her.

Loved. Not loves.

“Oh.” She’s not able to say anything more for a couple of minutes. How can Marinette possibly explain to Manon that Adrien is not coming back to this apartment ever again. “He’s away… for work.” She finally explains, hoping that it would be enough.

“Really? Where?” Manon explodes, gesturing wildly as she launches request after request. “Can you tell him to bring me something?”

There was something decidedly terrible about lying to a child, but Marinette found that there was no other choice. “I will!” She tells her, her voice somehow cheery, despite the fact that she can feel the crushing sadness overwhelming her again. It’s grip is like a vice, made out of cold steel, crushing her chest, and making it so hard to breathe again.

“You should tell him we’re watching this movie!” Manon continues to speak, completely unaware of the turmoil her words were creating in Marinette. “Ooh, better yet. We should send him a picture!” With that, Manon scoots over to Marinette, ready for the picture.

Marinette just goes through the motions, and smiles for the camera before snapping some pictures on her cellphone. Upon first look, her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and the picture betrays just how much the break up affects her. The woman on the picture is a wreck, and her heartbreak is almost palpable, trascending beyond the screen it’s on. 

Grief begins crushing her, making it hard to keep the facade of self control she has somehow managed to maintain so far. She has to get away.

“You keep watching the movie,” she tells her, standing up from the sofa as she heads towards the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.” She holds her cellphone in a deathlike vice as she quickly stalks towards the opened bathroom, closing the door just as she feels the tears overflowing her eyes.

This wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair!

The first tear falls on top of the cell phone screen, and when she wipes it off, it lights it up, showing the picture she had just taken with Manon.

Marinette leans back against the door, before slowly sliding until she’s sitting on the cold tiled floor as silent sobs shake her slim frame. She needs to collect her thoughts and get back out there. But her fingers move almost without her permission, searching for something. Searching for him. They tap on the screen until she’s able to reach a folder, accessible only by password. Alya had told her that she had to delete them but Marinette just wasn’t able. Not yet.

They were happy. She needs to see it. She needs to believe that it was true once.

The secret folder displayed countless thumbnails and Marinette found herself thumbing through them, watching all the secret snapshots that documented her time with Adrien. Smiles, so many smiles everywhere. And she misses them all, from the simplest smirk to the biggest grin he would flash her, she misses it all. She misses the weight of his arm on her weight when she sleeps and the way he always ruffles her hair when she brushes her teeth. She misses Adrien and the reality that she needed to start dealing with it hit her like a freight train.

He’s not coming back. Adrien left and there’s nothing she can do about that. 

“Marinette?!” A voice called from outside and Marinette realized that she needed to get back.

“Sorry!” She calls out, her voice sounding hoarser than what she’d expected, the weight of unshed tears putting a strain on every single part of her body. Hopefully Manon wouldn’t notice. “I’ll be right out!” She washes her hands, before splashing some cool water on her face. 

There would be time for dwelling in her sorrow, time to go through her grief. Marinette is aware that she desperately needs to do so. But now is not the time. 

She simply will not break Manon’s heart, because just one heart breaking was enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:   
> i still have your phone number memorized even though i haven’t called you since we split and somehow i remembered it even though i’ve had like six shots of bourbon and hey, i know you’re pissed that you’re here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that’s pretty impressive

There’s a good reason Adrien rarely drinks.

Despite how strong he actually is, he’s really a lightweight. And the fact that regular food was somewhat of an afterthought these past few days had not helped at all. He’d actually lost count of how many shots he’d taken after the fifth one, what was it now? Eight? Seven? He had no idea, but the numbness that took over his brain was a welcome change.

It’d been three weeks. Three weeks since he’d packed up from the apartment they’d shared. And even more since he’d last seen her.

It had been… _difficult._

His own downward spiral of guilt and self-recrimination prevented Adrien from reaching out to their common friends. He’d rejected Nino’s offer of a place to crash for the time being, and he hadn’t seen his former classmate in any way after the break up. The problem was that Nino, as well as Alya and his closest friends were just such a part of the life he’d shared with Marinette that he couldn’t bring himself to face them. In the end he’d contacted a former friend, an acquaintance from his old modeling days and he’d been staying with him since.

Which was today, a friday night, he’d finally been dragged out from the apartment and towards one of Paris’ most famous nightclubs. His companions had known Marinette, and while they’d been fond enough of her; the concept of being in such a committed relationship while being so young was beyond them. And so, began the mission to try and loosen him up a little. The shots were meant to help him with that. The second shot didn’t burn as much as the first one and, which in turn made the third one easier to down.  

They started the night with Adrien taking five shots. One for each year he’d spent with her. They had to celebrate his freedom, or so they said. As if he’d been imprisoned by his life with Marinette, as if he’d been serving a sentence that he just couldn’t wait to finish. It was the complete opposite of that, He’d been happy.

Adrien was leaning back against the bar, watching as his friends began doing the rounds, talking to people and getting some drinks. A little further away, there were people dancing, bodies moving at the rhythm of the music. There were shots being pushed into his hands, and with every single one he took he found himself getting more and more relaxed and the memory of Marinette grew fuzzier and fuzzier.

It felt good not to _think._

“Adrien!” Laurent approached him with a bright grin on his face, surrounded by three gorgeous girls. “I’ve made some good friends here, Here’s Adele, Sophie and Mélanie.” He then turned to the girls, “Here’s my good friend, we should talk to him for a little while, he’s a bit sad.” He grinned at Adrien and the small group surrounded him, launching into an animated conversation.

If Adrien had to be honest, the girls were definitely good looking. Clearly the idea was that he went home with someone tonight. And Adrien might have been new in this whole dating and flirting as a grown up, but he was pretty sure that Mélanie would be very willing, should he make an advance toward her.

Laurent noticed as well. And soon enough he led Adele and Sophie towards some of his others friends.

“You don’t dance?” Mélanie inquired, twirling the straw on her drink with one well-manicured finger.

Adrien shook his head, “I’m not much of a dancer,” he tried to be polite and spared a small smile at the girl. That was a lie. He could clearly remember dancing with Marinette through their apartment as they waited for dinner to be ready.

“Well, how about something to drink?” It took her no time to return with two shots, and she quickly handed over one to him and after a wink, she held hers up. “Here’s to a good night?” she winked, biting her red tinted lips with a flirtatious glint in her hazel eyes, downing her drink once Adrien did.

There’s certain point in drinking, when everything seems alright, but suddenly it seems like every little bit of alcohol hits the bloodstream at the same time. But despite the haze that clouded his brain, there was a random ray of clarity. He had to get out of there.

It was then that she kissed him and for a second he found himself giving in. He missed kissing. Life with Marinette was an affectionate one, and kisses were just how she liked showing her affection. She’d kiss him, nip at him and just hug him for no reason whatsoever. Spending so long without that sort of affection made him crave it, and for a lonely second he thought that perhaps he could give this a try.

Mélanie lips were warm and her breath tasted of bourbon and smoke (Marinette wasn’t a smoker, and she preferred flavored vodka. The difference was overwhelming), and they felt so horribly wrong that he froze. Her eyes were just the wrong color and her skin, while smooth lacked the freckles he loved so much.  Adrien pulled away, green eyes wild and frantic. It was as if red sirens began blaring in his head, alerting him of the big mistake he could make.

He had to get out of there. “I… gotta go,” he mumbled, not really aware of whether she was able to hear him in the loud music of the club or not as he stumbled his way out, navigating through the crowded club.

He stood by the entrance, leaning onto a light post as he felt the world swirl all around him. He needed to go home. Even if he didn’t know where that was. Adrien reached into his phone, as it buzzed inside his pocket, looking at some text from Laurent, asking where he was. He picked up the phone and dialed a number, one that was no longer in his contact list, but it was the only one he knew from memory. The line began ringing and after four rings, he heard _her_ voice.

“Hello?”

Hearing Marinette’s tired and confused voice answering the phone was better than he’d imagined it, and if the world wasn’t swirling around him, Adrien might have celebrated. “Mari…”

“Adrien…” her voice was soft but unreadable. “It’s three in the morning.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he began walking, barely keeping his balance, “Shit ‘m sorry.” he mumbled, “I’m just… Oh shit!” His phone slipped from his grasp and it tumbled on the floor, managing to stay on by some strange design of luck.

Marinette’s voice was faintly heard from the speaker, as she worried about what had just happened. He couldn’t make up what it was and he crouched, stumbling awkwardly before picking it up, unable to stop the string of curse that fell from his lips.

Her voice continued speaking, “…was that? Are you okay?” there was a clear hint of concern in her voice and it really was pathetic how even that was enough to make his heart beat louder.

“…kinda.” He was most certainly not okay. And only a part of that was due to how drunk he was. 

She sighed, “Adrien. Where are you?”

“I don’t know.” It was the truth, he’d strayed from the club far enough than he couldn’t even hear the music. “La Seine?”

There was some shuffling on the other side of the line, and Marinette cursed low under breath. “What can you see?” Adrien began naming some landmarks, whatever he could spot, until Marinette stopped him. “Stay there.”

* * *

Marinette arrived a little while later, driving her small Peugeot 108 car and parking it carelessly before bursting out of the small vehicle with an urgency that hadn’t been needed in years. Adrien had been slouched over in a bench, and he didn’t see her until she spoke.

She had been planning on simply telling him off, because how dare he call her in the middle of the night after weeks of silence? But the despondent look on his face made it impossible for he to say anything she’d planned. “Adrien?” She kneeled in front of him, finding his pretty green eyes glassy and unfocused.

“Princess!” his speech was slurred and his breath reeked of whiskey, “you came!”

She stiffened at the nickname, but she said nothing, her eyes examining for any sign of harm. “What happened?”

“I miss you.” His unfocused gaze looked at her, noticing that she was wearing the oversized sweater she used to lounge in the house and her pink pajama pants along with some flip flops.

Her lips formed a tight line as she looked at him, her eyes growing cold at the sight of red lipstick on his face. “It doesn’t look like it.” She said, her tone more aggressive than what she meant it to be. 

His hand rubbed on his face, looking at the red residue on his skin with a confused expression on his face. “I… ´sh wa’t you” he mumbled. “no freckles.” 

Marinette sighed, running a hand through her sleep mussed hair. In any case, she couldn’t just leave him out like this. She just wasn’t able to. “Come on,” she muttered, gritting her jaw as she reached for his hand, pulling him up, eager to get him inside her car.  “Let’s go.”

Her car was small, and he’d always hated it. He used to push the seat all the way back so that his legs would fit properly, but in his current inebriated state, he wasn’t able to find the lever that would let him. So he simply curled up and

She started the car, the engine coming to life with a purr. “Where am I going?”

“I don’t know.” Laurent hadn’t even texted him after that one text over an hour ago. Adrien honestly wasn’t sure whether he could go home to the apartment, and he didn’t even have the key to enter.

Marinette bit her lower lip, sitting quietly for a second as she tried to think of what to do. After a few seconds, she muttered, “god damnit it!” she huffed before shifting gears and driving away.

The soft motion of the car was soothing, and Adrien leaned his head against the headrest and he closed his eyes.

“Tell me if you need me to stop the car.” She told him, making sure her driving was smooth and steady, “I’ll pull over if you need to… well, _please_ don’t throw up in my car.”

He acknowledged her words with a nod and a noncommittal shrug, and Marinette committed herself to driving back home, sparing a few glances towards him, trying to make sure he was alright.

-

Waking up was an odd experience. He’d grown so used Laurent’s guest room that his first thought was that he _had_ gone home with the girl from the club. His heart stopped in his chest, as he felt movement in the next room and the sounds of a shower starting up. Adrien sat up on the bed, looking around frantically as he tried to make sense of his situation. Alright. He was still wearing pants. This was a good thing. It was then that he began recognizing the room.

It was their apartment. Well, _Marinette’s._

The bedspread was the first thing he recognized, they’d bought it together. On his bedside table, there were two picture frames, one empty and the other one holding a picture of Marinette, Nino and Alya, all of them smiling at the camera. Adrien remembered that day… after all, he’d been the one taking that picture.

Flashes and images of the previous night began coming back to him and Adrien remembered. He’d drunk dialed her in the middle of the night and Marinette had actually gotten out of bed and helped him. He was a mess, honestly, he needed to get his shit together.

The sounds of the shower running was a clear sign that Marinette was well awake and getting ready for the day. Had the situation been different, she might have brought some snacks to bed, and they’d lounge the whole day away, watching movies and cuddling, all the while she’d make fun of his miserable state, laughing until she’d kiss his pouting away.

This was fucked up. Adrien rubbed a tired hand over his bleary eyes and he wondered just how his life had gotten to this point. They broke up over one of the most clichéd reasons in the world. Money. And while people did say that money was one of the biggest problems between couples, he honestly couldn’t believe they’d let it get to this point. Arguments about their budget began escalating until… _until it was over._

He sat up on the bed and put on his shoes. Adrien realized that Marinette had even made sure to put him on _his_ side of the bed. He had no idea where she’d slept. If she’d ended up sleeping on the couch because of him, he was going to hate himself even more than he did already.

Oh God, he wished he could stay. That he could just go and tell her just how much she missed her and that everything had been a mistake. That nights anywhere else were noisy for the wrong reasons, that he missed her getting up to sketch a random idea, even if she shook the whole bed when she burst out of bed. He even missed the way she would wedge her feet between his legs when she was cold.

But he’d already inconvenienced her too much. He stood up, and the floor creaked as he walked. The shower was already off and he could hear Marinette moving around in the bathroom, probably toweling off and getting dressed.

Walking into the living room brought a new wave of nostalgia. The apartment looked almost the same, save from the few things he’d taken along with him as he moved out. Her coat looked so lonely on the coat rack without his jacket next to it. The apartment beckoned him back, everything inside reminding him of the home life they’d shared. 

Facing the front door, he had to make a decision, there was a note pad by the entrance, which they’d use to write tiny notes for one another when they lived together. He knew he should wait for her, to tell her everything he’d been thinking these past few weeks. But there was a small part of him, a cowardly side that would take the pencil and jot something down, thanking Marinette for looking after him and apologizing for the inconvenience.

But either one of those choices might just permanently close the door on everything that was _them._ And if Adrien had to be honest, he was terrified. 

These past few weeks, he’d lacked any real support from his temporary roommate. Somehow, he really didn’t want to hear about how _‘There were more fish in the sea’_ or any other similar phrase. He wanted her, but he was also terrified at the idea that she’d close the door on him, telling him it was over for good. 

Even as miserable as he was, there was still that little bit of hope left. Facing her might just give him an answer that he didn’t know whether he was ready to receive.

Marinette opened the door quietly, and froze when she heard Adrien’s footsteps on the living room. She had already finished her shower and was fully dressed, her damp hair tied up in a messy bun on top of her head. The front door was opened, and her heart beat almost out of control. She could hear it, there was a small moment of hesitation on Adrien’s side of the door; probably noticing that Marinette had opened the door, but chose to remain out of view from him.

The silence in the room was palpable, as Marinette just pleaded internally for him to do something. Either walk out or stay, but he needed to do _something_.

The door clicked when it closed.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
> "God damnit Bee! How could you do something like that? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

The sound of the door clicking closed was louder than any other sound Marinette had ever heard. **  
**

To tell the truth, Marinette hadn’t expected much out of what had happened. He needed help and had reached out. Just because he’d called her, didn’t have to mean more than that. Her feelings notwithstanding, he didn’t owe her anything beyond a thanks.

There was also no need to let him know he wouldn’t let her leave his side, and he’d eventually dozed off clinging to her hip, and then she’d done the same running her fingers through his hair. The reason she’d gotten out of the bed in the morning was because it scared her. Feeling his warmth nearby felt so familiar and it just felt so right that that she ran towards the bathroom before he woke up.

There was no need to tell him that she cried a little, because it felt so right and so familiar that she was overwhelmed by all the feelings that came rushing back to her.

No, there was no need to dwell on that, because it didn’t matter. They were still broken up, and it was what they’d decided was the best. Just because she still missed him and still wanted this to mean more, didn’t mean that it did.

But it was only after she realized that the door was most definitely closed that she braved stepping out of the bathroom. She had just showered, but she was not against the idea of crawling back into bed and hiding for the rest of the day. The day hadn’t even started and she was drained.

He couldn’t leave. Once the bathroom door opened, steam wafting outside through the opened door frame, Adrien knew he couldn’t just leave. Because just knowing she was standing right there, even if he couldn’t see her was devastating, and that settled the decision for him.

Leaving right now might just close the door on them forever, and that was not a chance he could take without at least trying to do something. He couldn’t just leave, not without telling her. He wouldn’t be a coward anymore, he needed to at least try to fix it. If Marinette told him to leave, he would without a single question, but for now, he would try.

So he closed the door.  

Adrien stood there in absolute silence, wondering whether he should speak up or just wait it out, but then Marinette finally walked out of the bathroom, dressed in a simple pair of leggings and a shirt, a fluffy pink towel draped over her shoulders. She froze when she saw him, and the look on her face was a mixture of panic and something he couldn’t define. Longing?

“Adrien.” His name tumbled out of her lips in a soft whisper, and her voice called to him.

“… Can we talk?”

She nodded, but stood right where she was, both her arms crossing over her chest, clinging to the towel on her shoulders. Adrien walked away from the door, heading to the sofa that sat in the middle of the small living room and sat on its arm, closer to where she was, but giving her the space she probably needed.

Where to start? There were so many things, so many feelings and so many things that were left unsaid between them that Adrien just didn’t know how to put them into words.

She beat him to the punch, as she usually did. “What happened last night?” she asked, biting her lower lip nervously, before quickly adding. “where are you staying?”

He was still feeling less than stellar after his drinking and that question brought it all back, “I’m staying with Laurent.”

“Ah,” Marinette nodded, leaning against the wall behind her. It made sense, Nino had mentioned that Adrien had not really returned his messages; and if Adrien hadn’t turned to Nino, Laurent was among the few people Adrien could turn to that weren’t Chloé Bourgeois (Thank God), or his father.

The silence was so awkward, and it was far too difficult to get a conversation going, “they… they wanted to go out.” Adrien shrugged, looking down at his feet as he wondered just how to continue, “I’m just not really good at clubs…”

It wasn’t a lie. They were loud and artificial; everything made to impress other people. Adrien had never quite taken advantage of the perks that came with being a model, because the celebrity lifestyle simply wasn’t something he aspired to. He didn’t care that he could get into the best Parisian Nightlife hotspots; that he could get the reservations to every restaurant in town. No, Adrien preferred quiet evenings at home, either with close friends or simply enjoying Marinette’s company.

“Why did you call me?” It had been three in the morning, and while she wasn’t even sure just why she’d gone to him, she wanted to know why he’d called her.

“I’m sorry about that. I just… I really shouldn’t have done that.” It had been so clichéd, but her number was one of the few things he knew by memory. But he was only partially sorry… After all, if it wasn’t for that drunken mistake, he wouldn’t have been here today. And who knew if he would have gathered the courage to reach out to her.

The silence, and short sentences were killing her as well. There was so much she wanted to tell him, she wanted to hit him for leaving her, to cling to him and never let him go. But there were so many things between them, so many barriers and obstacles that she didn’t know how to even begin to tear them down.

Marinette sighed, “Adrien, you can’t do this.” she told him,

“You didn’t have to come.”

“What was I to do?” She exclaimed, “Leave you alone? You were absolutely wasted! I had to drag you in here because I didn’t know where you were staying.”

Adrien winced, a hint of a blush tinging his cheeks in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you.” he repeated.

“You can’t do this!” she continued, her hands gesturing wildly as her heart began to race, “I… I’m trying here, trying so hard to be okay. And then you call… and it’s like everything goes back to zero. I can’t do this Adrien, I… this hurts!”

“Do you think this is easy for me?” he argued back, green eyes wide and bewildered by the idea that she seemed to think she was the only one grieving their end. “Do you really think you’re the only one in pain?” Because he’d been suffering; at least she had the never ending support of their friends and family. Adrien had no one. And while Laurent and his friends had the best intentions at heart, it just wasn’t a good fit. They didn’t know him, they didn’t understand what he needed.

Marinette squared her shoulders, arms crossed in front of her chest as she went on the offensive. “Well, unless you started wearing lipstick, clearly you were doing just fine.”

He flinched and Marinette regretted it immediately. It was a cheap shot. But she still remembered the lipstick on his face, and it made her sick. Because all she could do now was picture that all this time, while she was trying to piece her heart and her life back together, he had been partying, and a never ending parade of girls leaving his bed and it was not something she could bear.

But it turned out, that the hurt look on his face wasn’t bearable either.

“Nothing happened.” He told her, “Nothing has happened.” And the idea of her thinking that after all they’d been together, it would take so little to make him find someone else was hurtful. “And you know me better than that.” His voice as accusing, hurt even by the fact that she’d even suggest something like that.

“I just don’t know anything anymore.” she finally said, her voice cracking as a barely contained sob escaped her.

Adrien stood up, eager to close the distance between them, to comfort her. He just couldn’t bear to see her cry; because even before, when they argued, Marinette would hold her ground fiercely, refusing to give an inch when she believed herself to be right, never once breaking down in front of him. He’d hear sniffle later, the mournful sound mixed with the loud noise of the water falling from the shower; but now, seeing it before him was absolutely devastating.

“No!” she held out a hand to him,her tone urgent as she leaned back against the wall and Adrien froze.“ Stay there! I just need to say things and I can’t if you’re too close.” Adrien sat back down on the armrest and waited.

“I need to tell you all this, because I never did.” she began, her voice shaky as she wrapped her arms around her body, “We’re too different. We weren’t raised the same way.”

“No we’re not!” He argued. “Why can’t you understand…”

“Adrien, please. Let me finish,” she begged and he relented, nodding as he quieted down. “You had everything before, and you left it to leave in this… matchbox of an apartment with me.”

He looked dumbfounded, clearly unaware that this had been an issue for Marinette. “That was never a problem!” he exclaimed, frustrated as he hand slapped the arm of the chair he was sitting on. He loved their home, he loved how small it was and how cozy it felt.

“But it was!” Marinette argued back, “It was a problem, because we argued every single time the bills arrived. Every single time that we could barely make it through another month.” They were part time students, and while Adrien’s modelling gigs paid much better than what she did, they were sparse now; since studying was his priority.

“I wanted to make you happy!” He liked getting her things, buying dinner or whatever trinkets that reminded him of her. He’d never been good with making stuff like she was, so his only alternative was purchasing things.

“I don’t need that!” She ran a hand over her head, taking the hair tie and freeing her hair from the loose bun it was. “I needed you. I needed you to listen to me and help me build this, this life we were trying to make.”

Were. The word cut through him even harder than her earlier accusations. “It’s the only way I know how!” Adrien couldn’t believe the way things had gotten so off track. “You never told me that, you never once said that you were upset about that.”

“I thought you knew!” She looked taken aback. How could he have not known? They’d gone through the bills together, and while they’d never been short, their savings account was deplorable. Marinette wasn’t used to having a big amount of disposable money, so she knew how to budget according to that. If she wanted to treat herself, she would work more, get more commissions, or sell some things online.

“I didn’t!” Adrien had honestly not seen it her way; because once bills were paid, he truly felt that they deserved some sort of reward. Whether it was buying expensive take out, or maybe getting her that set of pencils she’d been eyeing on the shop, it was worth it to Adrien. “I just saw you withdrawing more and more and I thought…

“What?”

“I thought you were done.” The implication of what done meant was clear. Because Marinette was just so independent; she could take care of herself just fine. But she’d also signed up for this relationship, which meant having to take care of him; leading him through adulthood and teaching him things that were probably so obvious to anyone else.

“How… That was never it!” she exclaimed, shaking her head wildly as she continued, “It felt like you didn’t care about what I planned.” Namely the budget she’d carefully planned, “and I saw you getting upset but you never said anything?”

“You never asked!” Adrien exhaled loudly. The Agreste home wasn’t a place where feelings were freely shared. They were dealt with, but as long as they were silent, there wasn’t much of an issue. “I wasn’t raised that way, Marinette, and you know that.”

“You need to tell me!” she exclaimed, “I can’t pull everything out of you. I needed you to be here with me, to support me too!”

“Why didn’t you say that?” he begged, “I would have helped you if you asked!”

“Because you’re not used to this!” she exclaimed, before stopping, cutting off whatever it was that she was going to say next.

“And?” he pressed, knowing Marinette enough to know that there was more she wanted to say. “Say it.”

She sighed, pressing the heel of her palms against her bloodshot eyes; “I thought you would finally realized that you made a mistake.” she finally said, “that this” Marinette motioned around them, “was a mistake.”

He gaped at her, “How could you possibly believe anything like that?” His voice was urgent, and he barely resisted the urge to shake her. “How in the world, could you ever think that?”

“Because I never thought I was worth this.”

Adrien watched her with mournful green eyes. After everything they’d been through, their end had been brought on by the fact that neither of them considered themselves worthy for the other. And God, all he had ever wanted to be was good enough to stand beside her. It never even crossed his mind that she’d felt the same way about him.

It was really stupid once it was all out there.

Adrien was the first to speak; “We messed things up.”

“We really did.” she breathed, not trusting her voice to sound steady at this point. She slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest.

But where did they go from here? He had no idea. He honestly had no clue how to fix this, how to go about undoing all the damage they’d done. “I love you.” He said, his voice hoarse from sheer emotion he kept trying to bottle up. “I should have fought for you.”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she quickly looked away. “I shouldn’t have let you leave.” her voice was a mere whisper, so soft that he wouldn’t have heard it if he hadn’t been so focused on her.

“I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

“I was pushing you out, Adrien. I’m to blame as much as you are.” She knew how he worked. He would find any possible way to pull the weight of the blame entirely on his shoulders; but they were both to blame. There were so many things they both should have done; so many moments where they should have stopped and look at what they were doing. “I’m as stubborn as you are.” In the end, she’d made a preemptive move and pushed him away  as much as she was able to, at least before he could make the same decision.

That much was true. A sad smile crossed Adrien’s face, before he finally stood up and cautiously approached her, closing the few steps that separated them. Marinette watched him with wary eyes as he lowered himself to sit down on the floor facing her.

His hands itched to reach out to her, to pull her towards him, but he refrained, there was more that needed to be addressed. “I’m really sorry Mari,” he said, feeling oddly comforted on the fact that the nickname didn’t feel half as awkward as it should have.

She looked up, and something flickered in her eyes, but she didn’t move. “I’m sorry too,” she whispered. “I really am.”

“What do we do now?” The question was heavy on his tongue, opening the door to either a reconciliation or a clean break. He wasn’t sure what he would do if she picked the latter.

Marinette shook her head, before looking down at her legs. “I don’t know.” she mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

The silence between them was deafening, but Adrien reached for her hand, wrenching it away from where it was gripping onto the fabric on her pants, desperate to at least feel some part of her. Her hand was warm, so small in his but it fit perfectly as it always had, her fingers curling around his hand. “I’m so tired of not being with you. I’m tired of missing you everyday I wake up not at home.”

“I miss you. So much.” she whispered, “I keep racking my brain over and over all this, and it’s so stupid, I really hate myself.”

“I don’t want to fight with you.” he squeezed her hand, “not anymore.”

“I don’t want to fight with you either.” she answered, “but what do we do now?”

“We try harder.” It had been childish of both of them to expect that life would have easy as adults. Their teenaged love story had its own complications, but living together had it’s own share of problems that they hadn’t known how to handle. Try was all they could do, and if she was up for it, he would fight for her, for them until the sun fell from the sky. “If you want to, that is.”

She nodded, biting her lower lip as she seemed to ponder his words. “I do.” She crawled over and onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Adrien’s heart skipped a beat but he wrapped his arms around her slim frame, his eyes closing as the smell of her coconut scented body wash invaded his every thought, tugging at his heartstrings as it reminded it that he was home, that she was home.

Marinette’s hands held onto his shirt, her fingers gripping the fabric tightly as she hid her face in the crook of his neck. They were in complete silence, save from the shaky breaths that left her lips as her whole body tried to adjust to the fact that he was here with her. Adrien felt the dampness of her tears on his shirt but he said nothing, simply whispering apologies and promises into her hair.

“There’s a lot we have to work on,” she reminded him, her fingers trailing over his face; wiping away tears he didn’t even notice had fallen down his cheeks. “We’re not fixed.”

“I know.” He said, shifting until his back rested against the sturdy sofa, tightening his hold on her once he was more comfortable. “We’ll make it work.” Somehow, they would. He just couldn’t believe there was a world where they could be over. It just didn’t make any sense.

She nodded, her big blue eyes still red and bloodshot from her crying, but she was as beautiful as always to him. Her fingers trailed through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead before trailing back and leaning over to kiss him softly, almost timidly. The pressure of her lips against his was barely enough to count, but it felt like a welcome.

“We should get up,” she muttered, her head resting on his shoulder. She really didn’t want to move, but the floor was probably uncomfortable to remain like this much longer.

It was, but Adrien wasn’t ready to move just yet. “Not yet.”

She nodded and sighed, her breath tickling the skin on his neck. He leaned against her, his cheek against hers as they shared the comfort of a reunion embrace. “God, I’ve missed you,” he whispered against her skin, and her teary laugh was like music.

“I’ve missed you too.” She said, eyes closed as she simply reveled in the feeling of his arms around her, her fingers running small circles against the nape of his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He was drained, and his body felt like he was ran over by a truck. But it didn’t matter right now; because she was here, and they were going to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed it!


End file.
